Have a Relationship You Can Be Proud Of
Rather than engage in the fruitless discussion on how feminism has altered traditional relationships, learn how to establish and maintain strong relationships in modern society.
Opposing Views
Some people think that the women’s liberation movement and family planning (i.e., contraception) is responsible for the decline of traditional families in the U.S. As evidence, opponents often site the upsurge in divorce rates, juvenile crime, single parenting, and domestic violence. Conversely, proponents believe society was bettered. Women can time pregnancies, obtain higher education, pursue professional careers, and vacate poor relationships.
The Truth
Regardless to which side you are on, there were tradeoffs. Society and relationships have changed. As a result, holding on to old-fashioned ideas may not prove beneficial to the majority of the population. You must adapt, if you intend to have a relationship you can be proud of.
How to Adapt
Try looking at society from this perspective:
1. Everything can be quantified. What a partner does for you in a relationship can be classified into roles and tasks. The role of a partner, for example, may be – confidant, intimate liaison, collaborator, and supporter; the role of co-parent – provide supervision, sustenance, and guidance; the role of household administrator – budget, cook, clean, landscape, maintain (automobile & home), and organize. Once tasks are sorted, you can assign costs:
- Live-in nanny median rate: $25 to 35 per hour;
- Live-in domestic helper median rate: $12.40 per hour;
- Intimate liaison: €150 to €200 Euros per session;
- Psychotherapy: $100 to $200 per session
2. Know your options. Primarily there four alternatives. 1) You can accept all risks – opt for a traditional relationship in current society. 2) Transfer all risk – Never commit to a long-term relationship. Outsource all other roles and tasks. 3) Take a hybrid approach. Seek out a partner that can perform your key roles and task. Then, outsource tasks that are outside of your partner’s core competencies. 4) Change environments. Look for a partner in countries where traditional relationships are the norm.
3. Know the caveats. The strategies of partially or fully transferring risks (i.e., outsourcing relationship functions) offers you more control over your life, but it subjects you to partner churn and frequent re-negotiation. (Relationships must be managed via service level agreements – SLAs.). Accepting all risks, on the other hand, leaves you vulnerable to high failure rate (approximately 42%). Alternatively, changing environments may require you to learn a new language and/or culture.
What Next?
Until scientist perfect intimacy robots and artificial wombs, you are stuck with the aforementioned options. Therefore, you must be intentional. Select an option that works best for you. Otherwise, you may be closing your eyes to reality…hoping for the best.
What do you think?
References
Halteman, E. (2023, March 27). 2022 INA Salary and Benefits Survey Results. International Nanny Association. https://nanny.org/2022-ina-salary-and-benefits-survey-results/
Lauretta, A. (2023, May 4). How Much Does Therapy Cost In 2023? Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/health/mind/how-much-does-therapy-cost/
Lewis, H. (2023, June 18). The Feminists Insisting That Women Are Built Differently. The Atlantic. https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/06/reactionary-feminism-differences-between-sexes/674447/
Maginnis, R. L. (1997). Single-Parent Families Cause Juvenile Crime. U.S. Department of Justice Office of Justice Programs.
https://www.ojp.gov/ncjrs/virtual-library/abstracts/single-parent-families-cause-juvenile-crime-juvenile-crime-opposing
Public Broadcasting Service. (2019). American Experience: Roots of the Pill. https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/features/roots-pill/
Public Broadcasting Service. (2019). American Experience: The Pill and the Women’s Liberation Movement. https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/features/pill-and-womens-liberation-movement/
